1:43

It’s 1:43 and I can’t sleep no surprise there though my bedtime lately hasn’t been until three this whole week. I suppose it’s because I don’t want to go back to school, something I never thought I’d say. I spent my whole life just waiting till I was college dreaming of what life on my own would be like. Turns out it’s not as glamorous as my vivid imagination dreamt it would be. That’s no surprise though my imagination usually takes off running, creating scenarios that don’t have a chance in this world. Some I thank God never come true, and some I wish with all my might that they would.
It’s crazy how the minutes that were ticking by so slowly some how turn into warp speed and your watching your life go from slow and steady to leaving you in the dust. It scares the life out of me. I mean my world soon will not be the same things will never be the same and I am just wondering am I ready, and it doesn’t matter if I am it’s happening no matter what. It’s paralyzing that thought knowing that nothing I do will change fate’s hand. I don’t know I’m rambling, but it’s true my life is set speeding by and there’s nothing I can do. No moment I can change, and even if I could changing those moments would be selfish. I wouldn’t be considering other reactions just me and how I would feel. No it’s hard not to be selfish and look out for ourselves. After all it’s almost instinctual, but in the end what good does it do you?

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